How to Embrace the Awkwardness of Your Second Act with Humor and Style
Crush the First Lie of a Woman's Second Act
Picture this: life, divided into three acts.
Act one: youth, full of dreams and energy.
Act two: middle life, where you realize you're not as young as you used to be.
And act three: old age, where you finally get to yell at kids to get off your lawn.
In my second act, I was the unconscious character actor in a movie marathon.
All I knew was that life was hard and I felt afraid.
There was a life playbook out there in the Universe and everyone had it but me.
The second act is when a woman is SUPPOSED to reinvent herself, and make changes in all areas of her life, and I was failing.
What was wrong with me?
Life was a movie marathon with the same movie playing over and over.
I was stuck in a midlife crisis of epic proportions.
My brain was spinning and I felt numb.
My marriage was on the rocks, work had me feeling like a burnt-out light bulb, my kids were acting out at school, and my dog had run away (okay, that last one didn't actually happen, but it felt like it could have!).
Transition is uncomfortable, but no one told me it would be like doing the limbo under a flaming hot stick.
Change doesn't have to be painful, but it sure feels like it sometimes.
I was comparing my insides to other women's outsides.
The perceived failures were being compared to other women's outward evidence of success.
And let's be real, comparing yourself to others is a dangerous game.
I was desperately searching for the "cookie" that is supposed to come with this phase of life, but all I found was a bunch of crumbs.
The idea that I SUPPOSED to reinvent myself and make changes in all areas of my life was overwhelming.
I mean, who has time for reinvention when you're just trying to make it through the day without forgetting to pick up your kid from soccer practice?
The biggest myth of the second act?
That women will stop being afraid of what other people think about them.
Ha! If anything, I was more afraid and living in comparision town more than ever.
I put others first, lost my voice, tried to be invisible, and, let's be honest, got a little bit controlling (okay, maybe more than a little).
But then, a light bulb moment (not the burnt-out kind): what if this myth wasn't true?
These are the steps I took in the beginning to stop being afraid of what other people think or say about me:
Opened myself up to the idea that what other people say about me is not personal. It is about them.
Reminded myself when hurt, that what other people think or say about me is none of my business. I mean, who appointed them the CEO of my life?
I also stopped competing with other women and started embracing the sisterhood. Turns out, we're all just trying to figure this thing out together!
Caught the beat-downs going on in my head and started to treat myself a little kinder.
Leaned into the fear and discovered what this is emotion is trying to teach me. Emotions are always trying to help us.
So, here's to embracing the messiness of life's second act as well as kicking lies and myths to the curb.
The second act of a woman’s life is a journey of self-discovery and courage, but hey, at least we're all in it together, right?